flightcub:

*capitalist voice* well, we could make sure everyone lives comfortably, but it would make the money sad

railroadsoftware:

person: so what have you been up to
me: (speaking very humble) well, I just got some new carpet.. it’s plush…
person: (trying not to sound envious) pl… plush? wow. I hear thats the nicest of all carpets
me: oh it’s nothing..

felis-cultus:

is there a part 2

siderealscion:

a lovingly bastardized version of this classic

i think that the truth behind kylo’s path to the dark side is being forced to attend Life Day festivities with chewy and his parents. if you havent seen the star wars christmas special please,,,,,,, do

jurshdun:

when your fav is being problematic

puddletumbles:

elliebeanz:

ppl who hate wearing socks to bed what have U got to lose?? why deny urself warmth and comfort??

but me feets overheats

jaclcfrost:

bare minimum? i thought you meant bear minimum. as in the smallest amount of bears possible. which is why i brought one bear. there’s one bear. aka. the smallest amount of bears possible. i mean this is a problem but at least it’s not like. bear maximum

nursary:

replace myers-briggs with this

darylsdckson:

yusenki:

leviskinnyjeans:

Gag Pages for Shingeki no Kyojin Volume 18

[Page 1]
At geek boy’s home, 2-heads tall character appears.
Titan: Yo, Armin.
Armin: *Screams*

[Page 2]
Titan: I will eat all the people who bully you and I want you to adopt me in return. When one spends one’s life with another, no matter how close the friendship is, we will still need to manage our conflict of interests. 
text: The friendship between these two is…
Armin: Hu…Huh?
Titan: From now on, let’s stay together forever, Armin.
text: Everlasting.
Armin: *Screams*
Titan: Don’t disappoint me, ok?

EVEN WITH THE TRANSLATION I STILL DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING AND IM ALSO CRYINF REALLY HARD

hotsoccermom420:

wasabinogingers:

klaviergavin:

??? what is this ???

it’s a tray filled with fucking tubby custard that they jam up to the roof of your mouth and keep there. then they take it out and use the indents of your teeth to make retainers and stuff. it wouldn’t be that bad if it didn’t stay there that long, if the shit wasn’t flavored (’would u like bubblegum or cookie dough’ ‘i don’t really care they both taste like smoking rubber’), and if the ortho didn’t ALWAYS OVERFILL IT SO YOU END UP SWALLOWING LIKE A QUARTER OF THE STUFF AND GAGGING BECAUSE YOU’RE LITERALLY DEEP THROATING A PLASTIC TRAY AND THIS FUCKIN. PUDDING TEETH GLUE

The first time they did this to me I threw up on the dental hygienist :/

asmilinggoddess:

”and, you know, as mad as that made me as a little kid, in retrospect that is the funniest thing i have ever seen in my entire life”